Recharging baby batteries (and our own)

December 17, 2024 — This post is slightly off topic, but since I write for children, I thought it’s not too far a stretch to share something about exceptionally small children that warms my heart. 

A few weeks ago, while volunteering with my husband at the University of Michigan NICU, I received a call on our volunteer phone, “Do you have time to hold a cute baby?” the nurse asked. What? “Yes, of course!” This is music to the ears of NICU volunteers.  

I’ll call the baby W. W likes a lot of attention. I’m thinking — SMART guy. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. Much better to be held in someone’s arms whenever possible than to lie in the crib. 

He was a little fussy and the nurse stopped back in and let me know that he likes his paci(fier) AKA binky. Good to know. I hadn’t even seen it. We always have a nurse call button handy. Volunteers sit in a recliner and the nurses hand the babies to us. W and I sort of molded together into a comfortable bundle. I ended up with my knees up on the recliner footrest and the baby nestled against my chest with his head propped up on my arm and pillows. I figure they’re lying down so much of day that a different position is probably a nice change. 

I’ve had to tap into my lullaby song bank memory. I’m surprised at how many I recall. Yet, I know there are so many more I used to know, when I listened to tapes (remember cassettes?) throughout the day! Think Raffi, lullabies, Santa Bear. I make up songs with the baby’s name included, talk with them, sometimes read, if a book is handy, sit quietly and sometimes rub their head, soft arms, shoulders, back, legs or little feet. They’re so well swaddled, it depends. I love to see the babies smiling in their sleep, having a happy dream. 

When it was time for me to go, I asked W’s nurse if he thought he’d stay asleep when we set him back in his crib. He didn’t think so based on the baby’s M.O. I said I’d check back in shortly and when I did, lo and behold! He was still sleeping peacefully.

I like to think that I’d charged him up with enough love to sustain him for a restful sleep.

A few weeks ago, I held another baby who we were told likes attention. I’ll call him M. One thing I will say is that many babies’ names are so original nowadays! They’re generally not Mary, Sue or Tommy. I’ve never heard of many of the names before. It’s interesting to see this change. 

M was also a little bit fussy at first, but like W, he calmed down and then dozed off into a restful sleep. It makes me happy to know that in these moments, I’m helping to make their life in the hospital a little more comfortable, a little easier, a bit more snug and cozy. After about an hour and 15 minutes, his nurse needed to tend to him in his bed, so she took him from me and set him down. She hadn’t had this baby before and didn’t know if he’d awaken or not. He stayed asleep and later, when I walked by the room, he was sleeping peacefully. 

The volunteer coordinator said I have the touch. That was nice to hear, but it really depends on the baby. Of course, their parents and others are often there for them. It’s nice to be a backup when they can’t be and the nurses are busy. Nurses generally aren’t going to have the time to sit and hold a baby for long periods, but it’s one of the tasks volunteers are there for, and our favorite part of the gig.

Last week, I was fortunate to hold my little friend, W, again. We had another nice time together and he slept in my arms for most of the time. After I’d been with W a while, I got a call about another baby. This was a banner day — there’s often days when we don’t have direct interaction with babies at all. Even on those days, it’s good to know we’re helping the babies, their families, the staff and medical staff behind the scenes. 

When I got to the next baby, I’ll call him C, he was sitting up in a little chair in his crib. His nurse had to feed her other baby and so I was crib side with C. He had a tracheotomy and so he couldn’t make a sound. I could tell by his face that after a little while, he was crying, and maybe even screaming. Poor baby! I checked in with his nurse in the room next-door who said that sometimes he likes his chest tapped. This worked a little bit and I also did some arm and leg massage.

But, once I started massaging his head, scalp, forehead, over his eyes and the bridge of his nose, he sat back, closed his eyes and relaxed. I was fairly sure he was awake, but calm. I was so happy I was able to comfort him in those moments. Later, he was rubbing his eyes and the nurse said he was tired and had been sitting up long enough, so she lay him down and he nodded off to sleep on his side. Cue warm feels (and charged batteries, I’m thinking). 

This turns my thoughts to the importance of charging our own batteries by taking enough time for rest and spending time doing things that bring you joy. This is pretty standard advice but it bears repeating. And remembering. And doing. Every day, if only for short periods when you’re busy. Ironically, this is probably most important when we are busy or stressed and it’s hardest to find time. For me, this means doing yoga, walking outdoors, going to the gym, meditating, reading, spending time with loved ones, watching good movies and TV shows. 

What charges your batteries? Feeds your soul? Schedule time into your day to take care of yourself. Putting ourselves first means that we will be more available to help others. That’s what I call a win-win. 

Wishing my readers a happy holiday season! Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Happy Kwanzaa! And a healthy and delightful New Year 2025! Our new picture book, Into the Thicket (described on the home page of this website), will be available for presales, most likely in February!